I always look forward to my birthday. On that day, every year, there is a special type of energy the flows, swirls around and gets me excited. It is my one special day of the year when I feel the sun shining on me and for me. I can never understand people that purposely dismiss their birthdays and live to skip the day rather than celebrate it. 

So naturally, I would expect my boyfriend, having seen his girlfriend going through cancer treatment and remission in the past 6 months, to be a liiittle bit more prepared and enthusiastic, organising the big return, the special present and the fancy dinner. 

Instead, I came to a bit if a disappointment when on Sunday morning he declared he wanted to go shopping ‘for few things ‘. ‘Few things’ being some things for me. Go shopping in Ealing Broadway Shoping Centre, not even Westfield? Go shopping means I would know my present and if this is a present I know, then this is not a present at all. My boyfriend is normally a thoughtful and considerate person, he brings me flowers every Saturday when he comes to my place and I normally cook dinner for us. Flowers replaced Lindor chocolates when it became clear cancer loves sugar and I had to cut down dramatically on this luxury for the soul. The idea to go shopping for my birthday was also considerate on a very prime logical level as he wanted to make sure I don’t refund or return the present he bought me and that I actually buy something I would love and would wear.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love shopping with him as he encourages me to try new clothes, sometimes completely outside my comfort zone. Like the green neon dress I bought for Ascot few years ago. But despite of this, I love the idea to get a surprise for my birthday, to open my birthday cards with messages that I have not seen, to open my presents with things I have not bought, to have a surprise cake that has been hidden carefully from me. Was I, am I, expecting too much from him? 

In reality I don’t need anymore clothes or bags or special presents. I do not need a dinner in a fancy restaurant. When I was lying in bed post chemo I wasn’t dreaming of any of that. But I was seeing myself travelling, having a picnic in the park, doing normal, everyday things that I enjoy. Making effort to notice and enjoy the small things in life.

This man, my boyfriend, also cried every time the doctor said I am in remission or my cancer is fully gone. He helps and supports me in every way and what does he get from me? An excessive list of demands?

It’s not about the EXPENSIVE pre planned birthday surprises. It’s about planning and making ordinary things special. It’s about putting time and effort to create joy in someone’s life that makes their day a day to remember. Is it him getting more complacent now that I am on the clear or is it me being picky and demanding?


New beginning

2014-08-20 18.09.17

It has been two days since I have been given all clear from the doctor and it seems as if the last 7 months did not happen at all.

I still have petty arguments with my mum like why the grapes have finished and my son is telling fibs about completing his homework.  So I did the one thing I am expected to do and take a grip on this family – gave a lecture to both of them. Yes, I had my morning coffee and toast and gave a speech to my respective audience about what responsibilities each of us has in oir little household and how we are expected to perform. Given the short timeframe and no preparation, I structured it well, addressed each member of the group, looked them in the eyes and even raised my voice to make my points clearer. I am sure they will both be reflecting on that as the day goes by as neither of them was in a talking mood when I finished.

When I had cancer, I changed my attitude to life, my diet and number of other aspects which will continue to have an effect (she said with hope). I became more relaxed and started to delegate more responsibility, I spoke to my nearest and dearest for the need to have more consideration to their daughter and mum and they nodded thoughtfully. At the time I actually thought that what I am saying is sinking in. Now i think my mum was probably thinking about the next episode of Masterchef while my son was wizzing in his mind to the next level of “Bottle Flip” or “Tanki online”.

I kinda thought that now I have, I had, this condition, they will be more attentive, kinder (obedient even) but each member of my family has a very strong and opinionated mind and sadly it seems they don’t like to be told what to do. Cancer or not, life goes on. I just have to find a way to be more convincing.

A day like no other


A day like the other
You wake up in pain.
It’s Friday, it’s morning
It’s work come again.

It’s sunny, it’s empty
You’re late for you work
The routine is draining
Becoming a blur

The breakfast, the tea
The morning commute
It’s all well too known
The same ol’, same ol’ route

And yet, it is Friday
It’s freezing but bright
You have a good feeling
And a weekend in sight

You don’t have a penny
But got all that love
It’s Friday, it’s morning
It’s shining above

How the Internet Started


(According to the Bible)

In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a healthy young wife by the name of Dorothy.

And Dot Com was a comely woman, large of breast, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she was often called Amazon Dot Com.

And she said unto Abraham, her husband, “Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without ever leaving thy tent?”

And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load, but simply said, “How, dear?”

And Dot replied, “I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale, and they will reply telling you who hath the best price. The sale can be made on the drums and delivery made by Uriah’s Pony Stable (UPS).”

Abraham thought long and decided he would let Dot have her way with the drums.

And the drums rang out and were an immediate success. Abraham sold all the goods he had at the top price, without ever having to move from his tent.

To prevent neighbouring countries from overhearing what the drums were saying, Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew. It was known as Must Send Drum Over Sound (MSDOS), and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures – Hebrew To The People (HTTP).

And the young men did take to Dot Com’s trading as doth the greedy horsefly take to camel dung. They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites, or NERDS.

And lo, the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums that no one noticed that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer, Brother William of Gates, who bought off every drum maker in the land. Indeed he did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates’ drumheads and drumsticks.

And Dot did say, “Oh, Abraham, what we have started is being taken over by others.”

And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel , or eBay as it came to be known.

He said, “We need a name that reflects what we are.”

And Dot replied, “Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators.”

“YAHOO,” said Abraham.

And because it was Dot’s idea, they named it YAHOO Dot Com.

Abraham’s cousin, Joshua, being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid (GEEK) that he was, soon started using Dot’s drums to locate things around the countryside.

It soon became known as God’s Own Official Guide to Locating Everything (GOOGLE).

That is how it all began.

And that’s the truth.

Dear PC Doctor


Dear PC Doctor,

I am writing with the hope that you will be able to understand my position and provide a suitable care for my beloved.

My Dell laptop is only 4 years and 6 months old. I paid handsome money for it and although the public perception is that dowry is thing of the past, I still do believe that this is a good way to introduce two upright families.

It was love from first sight – him with his mate black cover and Ferrari red lights dashing and dazzling in the late nights when I had to catch up with some paperwork, me – an inspiring high achiever who did the occasional work marathon until the early hours of the morning. (I still remember those jealous looks when we were going through airport security…) He was fast, responsive and very agile. I was totally captivated by him.

But now I feel that he is ageing faster than me.

His health deteriorated rapidly. During his lifetime he underwent a number of technical interventions, resuscitations and reboots. I looked after him and provided a weekly cleaning care with wet antiseptic wipes, anti-virus software and an initial 3 year guarantee (which came in quite handy, keeping in mind that the we had to call the helpline in the first year). I even upgraded his operational system, changed the lights to a more calming blue and refrained from a regular contact and use.

But now I feel that I have explored all options and I will have to retire him. He is becoming non-responsive and dementia is taking hold of him to the extent that I have to awake and re-boot him three to 5 times before he recognise me. He just blinks and the look disappears from his face, I can see his icons becoming mere shadows and waning on the background.

In the past 5 or 6 months he failed to perform on number of occasions and I feel let down and alone.

I don’t know about him but I don’t think this is a healthy way to have a relationship.

And this is why I have started to use internet and look for another partner. I know this is not right and I feel guilty and ashamed, but I need someone reliable, handsome and hardworking, preferably with big hard drive but light weight. It has to be modern, easy to operate and good with children (he will have to get along with my 6 years old son as mandatory). References are very important as I will be checking the reviews thoroughly.

Dear PC Doctor, I hope you do understand my position and help me to find a suitable and retirement home for my dear Dell. If this is not possible, I will have no choice but to ship him to Bulgaria.

Yours truly,


How to heal a broken heart


How to mend a broken heart
How to stick the fallen leaves on trees
How to unclose the door, unspeak the words
Turn back the clock of time, that is

How to learn to trust again
How to forgive…Do you forget?
To try and not to hate the man
To keep the hope and not the regret

How to unfade the plans we had
Or to undream the dreams we dreamt
For what it was not supposed to be
There never was, to start with

How to collect the broken glass
How not to hurt and to detach
How to collect oneself intact

To start again, I make a pact.

Fantastic letter written by 98 year old lady to her bank

Dear Sirs:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my cheque with which I endeavoured to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the cheque and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honour it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my Pension, an arrangement, which, I admit, has been in place for only thirty eight years. You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account £30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, but when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan payments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank by cheque, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate. Be aware that it is an offence under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Solicitor, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof. In due course, I will issue your employee with PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modelled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:

1. To make an appointment to see me.

2. To query a missing payment.

3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

7. To leave a message on my computer (a password to access my computer is required.

A password will be communicated to you at a later date to the Authorized Contact.)

8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through to 8.

9. To make a general complaint or inquiry, the contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous, New Year.

Your Humble Client

Drinking or yoga?

Savasana - Position of total relaxation.
Balasana - Position that brings the sensation of peace and calm.
Setu Bandha Sarvangasana - This position calms the brain and heals tired legs.
Marjayasana - Position stimulates the midriff area and the spinal column.
Halasana - Excellent for back pain and insomnia.
Dolphin - Excellent for the shoulder area, thorax, legs, and arms.
Salambhasana - Great exercise to stimulate the lumbar area, legs, and arms.
Ananda Balasana - This position is great for massaging the hip area.
Malasana - This position, for ankles and back muscles.

Two rare pictures

Homai Vyarawalla, India’s first woman photojournalist and the founder member of WNCA, turned 94 this year. Her camera has captured some of the defining moments in the country’s political history.This black and white picture of Nehru lighting a cigarette for the then British high commissioner’s wife is an absolute stunner.

Some photographs are to be admired, some are to be celebrated, but this one has the potential to give you goose bumps. Bedi says it was photographed when he was working on a new feature in Bishnoi in Rajasthan. The Bishnois worship nature in all its manifestations, and are a conservative community.

“It was hard for an outsider like me to come with my camera to photograph them. One day, I saw that a village dog had killed a chinkara fawn’s mother. So the Bishnoi family had adopted him before he becomes prey to other predators in wild and nursed him as if it was their own child.I was looking for one picture that can tell the story of their community’s strong feeling for the environment. After great difficulty, some six months later, I could get this picture showing how human beings live in harmony with nature.”

Vijay and his brother Ajay Bedi are the only Indians whose wildlife film has been nominated for the Emmys. They are also the youngest Indians to be honoured with the Green Oscar.

Male speech patterns

“I can’t find it”
MEANS: It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands so I am completely clueless.

“That’s women’s work”
MEANS: it’s difficult, dirty, and thankless.

“Will you Marry me?”
MEANS: both of my roommates have moved out, I can’t find the washer, and there’s no peanut butter left.

“It’s a guy thing.”
MEANS: there’s no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

“Can I help with dinner?”
MEANS: why isn’t it already on the table?

“It would take too long to explain”
MEANS: I have no idea how it works.

“I’m getting more exercise lately”
MEANS: the batteries in the remote are dead.

“We’re going to be late.”
MEANS: I have a legitimate reason for driving like a maniac.

“Take a break, honey, you’re working too hard.”
MEANS: I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

“That’s interesting dear.”
MEANS: are you still talking..???

“Honey, we don’t need material things to prove our love.”
MEANS: I forgot our anniversary again.

“You expect too much from me.”
MEANS: You expect me to stay awake?

“It’s really a good movie.”
MEANS: It’s got guns, knives, fast cars and naked women.

“You know how bad my memory is.”
MEANS: I remember the address of the first girl I kissed and the registration number of every car I’ve ever owned but I forgot your birthday.

“I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses.”
MEANS: the girl selling them on the corner was wearing a bikini.

“Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut myself, it’s no big deal.”
MEANS: I have actually got a pretty deep wound but will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt.

“Hey, I’ve got reasons for what I’m doing.”
MEANS: what did you catch me at?

“She’s one of those rabid feminists.”
MEANS: she refused to make my coffee.

“I heard you.”
MEANS: I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said, and hope I can fake it well enough so that you don’t spend the next three days yelling at me.

“You know I could never love anyone else.”
MEANS: I am used to the way YOU yell at me, and realize it could be worse.

“You really look terrific in that outfit.”
MEANS: Please don’t try on one more outfit, I’m starving.

“I brought you a present.”
MEANS: It was ‘free ice scraper’ night at the ball game.

“I’m not lost, I know exactly where we are.”
MEANS: No one will ever see us alive again.

“This relationship is getting too serious.”
MEANS: I like you almost as much as I like my truck.

“I don’t need to read the instructions.”
MEANS: I am perfectly capable of screwing it up without printed help.

“I missed you.”
MEANS: I can’t find my sock drawer, the kids are hungry, and we’re out of toilet paper.


Autumn in London

It’s autumn again and to be precise it’s the 35th autumn in my life.

As far as I remember back from my childhood in Bulgaria, I never really liked autumn, because it marked the end of beautiful, hot and carefree summers. It meant that I can no longer take my bag and skip to the beach, spending all day in the sea without the watchful eye of my parents and until my lips became blue and I had drunk more or less half of the Black Sea. I missed the long nights strolling the main streets all the way to the Sea Garden with its beautiful terrace with Viennese bannisters and the most amazing view over Bourgas harbour all the way to Sunny Beach. Summer was the one season we all lived for and partying all the way to October the thought of autumn and winter was so distant as the Antarctic is from Bulgaria.

Until one morning you wake up and feel the cool breeze in you bedroom, sneaking messenger for the winter, and realise that the leaves are fallen and gone way, the crops are reaped and harvest collected and you reach to you wardrobe for the winter coat and it’s smell of anti-moth balls.

That’s way I never liked autumn back then. It was short, unexpected and brutal. I was not prepared for it and it always brought a sense of loss.

Unlike England.

I found myself looking forward to that magical moment of when the leaves start to transform, the feerie of colours, the sensitivity to light and the dark shades of imminent demise were striking. The passionate reds, the royal purples, the distinguished browns make an amazing autumn in England on the backdrop of green fields and well…quite unpredictable skies. The quite and beautiful transition would wave its way from the bottom of the trees, across land, homes and spaces until one day a fierce storm will shake and disturb the idyllic piece, will rage and reign until the last leave has fallen and kidnapped in the hands of its almighty power.

And this is when it starts to smell like Christmas.

The story behind the logos


If you look at the center of this logo, you can see two people enjoying a Tostito chip with a bowl of salsa. This logo conveys an idea of people connecting with each other.

Formula 1

At first, this logo might not make much sense. But if you look closely, you’ll see the number 1 in the negative space between the F and the red stripes. I also love how this logo communicates a feeling of speed.

Milwaukee Brewers

The Milwaukee Brewers is a professional baseball team from Milwaukee , Wisconsin. Their logo is actually made up of the letters M (on top) and B (below the m). These two letters also form a baseball glove.

Northwest Airlines

This simple looking logo actually carries a lot of information. First of all you can see the letters N and W, the first two letters of the brand name. But what most people don’t see is the compass that points to the Northwest, another reference to the brand name.


This logo doesn’t seem to hide much at first sight, but it gives you a little insight in the philosophy behind the brand. First of all, the yellow swoosh looks like a smile: Amazon wants to have the best customer satisfaction. The swoosh also connects the letters a and z, meaning that this store has everything from
a to z.


Toblerone is a chocolate-company from Bern , Switzerland . Bern is sometimes called ‘The City Of Bears ’. They have incorporated this idea in the Toblerone logo, because if you look closely, you’ll see the silhouette of a bear.

Baskin Robins

The old logo of Baskin Robbins had the number 31 with an arc above it. The new logo took this idea to the next level. The pink parts of the BR still form the number 31, a reference to the 31 flavors.

Sony Vaio

Sony Vaio is a well known brand of laptops. But did you know that the name Vaio logo also had a hidden meaning? Well, the first two letters represent the basic analogue signal. The last two letters look like a 1 and 0, representing the digital signal.


Do you see any arrows on FedEx’s logo? I saw it a few times at other site saying that there’s an arrow hidden in the FedEx arrow, but I couldn’t find it. I now know where it is, it’s your turn to find. The clue is that the arrow is located in between the alphabet E and X, and the arrow is white, acting as a background.